grace.

I had a professor in college who, whenever someone called another person "white trash," would respond by saying, "you mean, that person for whom Christ died?" I always remembered that response. I've also always felt called to working in a "helping" profession. I used to think that I felt called to this field because I was a person of character. Now I know it's because God wanted to develop my character--point for God. There is a family I work with that really... "provides me the opportunity" to develop my character. This family is the quintessential example of the of the "white trash" stereotype:

• Single mom of 8 kids, ages 3 -16 years. She just reached 6 years sober from every substance in the book.
• Don't forget the new Pit Bull puppy. (hey, it was free! insert eye roll here).
• No transportation--unless you count the Light Rail.
• They buy soda so that they can "make money off returning the cans." (think about that one for a minute)
• The house is a disaster--mud and food on the walls, dried up milk and fruit loops caked onto the table from Lord knows how long ago.
• Pretty much everything (except the TV) is broken.

Oh, and since they got the new pup, there is also dog urine in corners and dried onto the floor. It's the kind of place that makes me feel like I need to wash my whole body after leaving. During appointments, it is absolute chaos in the house. Kids literally are climbing up the furniture .At least four of the kids feel the compulsion to "need something" from mom, or are coming in asking questions that really could wait for--well, never--because they're not really questions about anything at all. Mom deals with it all by SCREAMING at the top of her lungs for them to stop and responding to every single annoying thing that they do on purpose to interrupt and annoy her. It's basically the opposite of how I believe a household should be run; of how I see myself raising a family someday. It's chaotic, there's no discipline, no follow through, no cleaning, just---yeeeeaaaaggggghhh. And yet, I love it. Not because I think chaos is great, or because I think, "ah, it must be so nice to be so free-spirited that I don't care that breakfast from three weeks ago is still on the table."

But because, with all of the things that they aren't, all the ways they don't live up to society's standards--there they are. They're honest about it. Mom doesn't try to hide that she made poor choices and has cleaned up. The focus is on what they are now, not what they were before. They live and exist because of grace, even though they don't know the Source of that grace.Kinda convicting, seeing as I know that Source, yet the majority of the time, I don't live by it. I wish I could tell them this; wish I could convey that God loves them and has had grace, and wants to bless them with even more in their lives...but have I even embraced that grace for myself? How can I communicate His Grace when I don't allow myself to experience it?

It wasn't until recently that I realized there is a reason this family welcomes me into their home, their lives, their business, and lay everything out for me to see. Because I will help them.

And they need help.

So I will listen to their story.I will try to relate.I will help. And I can hope that I will show grace as God shows grace to me. And hopefully, although I can't talk about God at work, they will know and see God's love and grace through the way I give support to their family. Because they are people for whom Christ died.

hello and welcome

So obviously, I've started a blog. It's something I've meant to do for a long time now, but just haven't. I love to write, and used to journal all the time, but it's one of those things that just slipped away as life and routines and being an adult start getting in the way. But writing is therapeutic for me--to get things out on paper (or, "paper") makes all my thoughts, ideas, and genius little nuggets of wisdom (ha) become more real, more solidified, more resolute. Usually people have some purpose for their blog, like talking about sports or writing about their kids or something. I don't really plan on having a purpose here, as I don't have all that much new and exciting going on by most people's terms. But I think life is an adventure, which ought to be documented, thought about, questioned, and lived in community and fellowship, and I think sharing my writing with you is a way to do that. One thing that will be a little bit structured here will be outlining the activities of my days/weeks/months/whatever period of time has passed in between blogs, just for an update. So, enjoy. Or don't, either way. Godspeed. Today's Adventures: --Creating a Blog (surprising, right?) --Cupcakes with the Bastiens. I love this new tradition SO much. --Dinner with UC leaders at our house. (newness and sharing and ideas and fajitas, could it get any better? No.)